I’m still not ready

I was walking my dogs ‘early’ this morning (i.e. before the temps got up to the >90 predicted) and, being warm enough in the sun, I got a good whiff of the most pleasant aroma – the solar-baked-pine needle aroma! I LOVE the smell of that…everytime it reminds me – nostalgically – of hiking in the Whites.

I haven’t been out all summer. The thought of doing the AT and not ‘being in shape’ dogs me daily. My only consolation is that completing the AT is a mental challenge more than physical (although I still think to myself; I have all winter, my favorite season, to hike/snowshoe and get in better shape) as most people who complete the AT will say – they get into shape doing it.

It isn’t laziness that has kept me from the mountains, it’s my night schedule and some very necessary home-improvements. Knowing I won’t be home (or working) most of next year, I have to use this time to “make the doughnuts” ($) and get stuff done that I won’t be here to do. Next year I can freeze, sweat and be as uncomfortable as nature dictates but this year I have to suffer with the tedium of owning a home and having a job. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Still…I’m a little leery of the big plan, the whole thing. Time seems to be flying right on by and I feel that I’m just dog-paddling my way through an ocean of responsibilities and duties and mental anguish. It’s going from a dream to a nighmare. I’ve said I’d do it and now it’s nearing ‘pay up’ time. I still need to get (some) gear. My one-person tent, I don’t think, is going to cut it. Agh!!

One day at a time.

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